My father’s death in 1983 stopped time. He will always be 36 years old, and I will always be his three-year-old daughter. In Regarding You & Me I am researching how he and I connect in the present, by collecting and examining traces he left behind.
On many occasions I have missed him as a father figure and role model. I have never been able to tell him that I am transgender. Now that I’m about to become a father, the wish to get close to him becomes even stronger. In order to define myself, I need to define my father and the ways in which I relate to him.
The archive of family photos, movies and objects plays an important role in the search for my father. These things are the only tangible traces that he left behind. In the Super 8 footage my father looked at me. Now I am looking at him to learn more about what kind of a man and father he was. In this way our gaze is exchanged.